emma sumrell

By: Emma Sumrell

last week, my family and i went on a beach vacation to the gorgeous jersey shore. i grew up going down the shore and it is my absolute favorite place in the world.  nothing brings me more joy than the garden state- where i can experience fried food, over enthusiastic sunbathing, and an endless parade of neon-colored beachwear. 

packing for this trip was easy for me because luckily, i knew what to expect- a beach chair that’s essentially a recliner on wheels, sunscreen so strong it could repel a nuclear blast and a bedazzled bright pink bathing suit. my goal is to not just be tan, but to be a shade of red that’s typically reserved for stop signs & lobsters. (please don’t tell my dermatologist). 

anyway, the shore is a place where fashion meets function, and function is mostly about maximizing your visibility walking down bay ave while avoiding any actual functional clothing. the boutiques down the shore are what dreams are made of and lucky for me a new one opened up since the last time i visited. it took everything in me not to spend $70 on a crewneck that says “Jersey Summer” but alas i stayed strong and spent $70 on pink coconut rum cocktails instead.  

after some shopping, i prepared myself for some of the best bar food i could ever ask for – pizza that includes a generous helping of grease (who needs arteries anyway?) chowder that has won awards, and beach bars that serve the most delicious chicken tenders you’ll ever have in your life with waitstaff that calls you “honey”. 

it’s always sunny down the shore. i don’t know what it is but the forecast will say “rain” and it will still be sunny. it’s like a vortex. sunny days mean beach days. and by beach i mean the “battlefield of towels”. each morning, you have to stake your claim or you’re screwed. this involves a 7am wakeup and a strategic placement of your belongings ( specifically your umbrella) and the ability to stare down and scare away anyone who dares encroach upon your space for you and your 50 family members. may the odds be ever in your favor. 

the real bosses of the shore are seagulls or as i like to call them, rats with wings. they will have you wishing that you packed a lunch of sand because if you even make the slightest of eye contact with one of these demon birds you can say goodbye to your food. my poor sister almost got her sandwich taken and then had to spend the afternoon googling if she has bird flu from a seagull scratch. so for the love of all that is good please take those “aggressive seagull” signs seriously!!! 

i managed to avoid hangovers until the last two days because why not go hard right before you have to make the 4 hour trek home??? every single corona, margarita and rum punch was worth it and i can’t wait to go back. the sunburn? a badge of honor. the food? worth every caloric sin. the seagulls? simply the cost of doing business. 

so, here’s to the jersey shore- a place where you can hear bruce springsteen on every corner and where every vacation dream comes true.