Overheated and Overspending

by: emma sumrell

If you’ve ever looked at one of those viral Amazon products and thought, “Pfft, I definitely don’t need that,” allow me to gently (and by gently, I mean aggressively) disagree. Because you do need it. You just don’t know it yet. That’s the magic of Amazon—turning complete nonsense into absolute necessity in two business days or less.

And really, what better excuse to impulse-buy things you didn’t know existed than the start of a new season? It’s practically self-care. New season, new vibes, new random-but-life-changing stuff arriving on your doorstep while you pretend you forgot you ordered it. Summer is basically your official permission slip to upgrade your life with things you technically don’t need but will immediately form an emotional attachment to.

So go ahead—enable that “Buy Now” button. Future you (the one sipping iced coffee under her pop-up beach tent while wearing cloud slides) will be so grateful.

☀️ 1. Portable Neck Fan (aka your personal air conditioner)

This little gadget wraps around your neck and literally blows cool air at your face like you’re Beyoncé mid-concert. 10/10 would recommend.

Portable Neck Fan

🧊 2. Giant Ice Cube Trays—for Fancy Girl Drinks

These oversized cubes melt slower, so your $7 mocktail doesn’t taste like sad water in five minutes.

Ice Cube Tray

🍉 3. Watermelon Slicer (so I can stop almost losing a finger)

I used to wrestle with watermelon like it owed me money. Swipe and done. No ER visits required with this slicer.

Watermelon Slicer

👡 4. Cloud Slides That Feel Like Foot Pillows

Yes, they’re hideous. And yes, I love them. I don’t know what sorcery these slides are made of, but it’s like walking on marshmallows. Your feet will never recover—in a good way. And if you’re a runner like me, you’re welcome.

Cloud Slides

🏖 5. Pop-Up Beach Tent (because SPF 100 still isn’t enough)

Do I have kids? No. Do I need shade like my life depends on it? Absolutely. This pop-up tent sets up in 0.2 seconds and keeps you from sizzling like bacon at the beach.

Pop-Up Tent

🍦 6. Mini Ice Cream Maker—For When the Craving Hits

Sometimes I just need ice cream and I’m not leaving my house for it. Toss in your ingredients, wait 15 mins, and boom—DIY froyo queen.

Mini Ice Cream Maker

💦 7. Foldable Water Bottle (because hydration is suddenly trendy)

These foldable water bottles squish down to fit in your tiny purse but expand when you’re ready to chug like you just crossed the Sahara.

Foldable Water Bottle

🕶 8. Oversized Sunglasses That Scream “I Have My Life Together”

No, I didn’t sleep well. Yes, my iced coffee is doing all the heavy lifting. These sunnies are the ultimate disguise.

Oversized Sunglasses

🍹 9. Cute Acrylic Drinkware That Looks Like Glass (But Won’t Shatter at Your BBQ)

We’re grown-ups now (kind of), so it’s time to retire the Solo cups. These acrylic tumblers are classy, durable, and way less tragic when they inevitably get dropped during backyard cornhole.

Acrylic Drinkware

🪴 10. Citronella Candle That Actually Works

I don’t know who invited the mosquitoes, but they weren’t on the guest list. This candle keeps them away without smelling like a high school locker room. Plus, it looks like a chic little decor moment.

Citronella Candle

Final Thoughts:

So no, you didn’t technically need any of these. But will they make your summer exponentially better, more comfortable, and 100% cuter? Yup. Add to cart, babe—your Amazon truck is basically a seasonal employee at this point.

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